worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
