Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
