I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize