i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
