i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
