guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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