The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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