just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
