Just mADE A PArabola og urine
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
