i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize