This girl is more easily done than said...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How external is "for external use only"?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
