5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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