She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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