theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
