And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
