Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
