It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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