i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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