Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
