you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
