i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
