four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
