I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
