i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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