drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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