i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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