I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
