Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
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Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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