don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
