my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
