you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
