your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
