How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
