He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
