Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
