just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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