Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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