so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
