The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
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i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize