Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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