He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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