so that wasnt chicken after all
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
