Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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