I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
