He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize