Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
