I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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