the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
