My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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