I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
