just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
