ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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