Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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