someone threw a dead crab at me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
