I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
