I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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