We need to rekindle our bromance
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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