i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
