Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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