My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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