so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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