you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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